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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469326">Perception</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikaV/pseuds/NikaV'>NikaV</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alien Time Lords (Doctor Who), Emotional Hurt, Gen, Moral Dilemmas, Referenced Time War (Doctor Who)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:08:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469326</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikaV/pseuds/NikaV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Doctor is backed into a corner, he uses the very last option. This raises some questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Perception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The result of a day without internet access.<br/>Takes place sometime after JE, but pre-WoM.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In hindsight, it was terrifying. In fact, they should have died. </p>
<p>They’d been boxed in. Metal walls on five sides, hungry alien monsters on the sixth. No chance of getting rid of the monsters in time, and not enough firepower to blast a way out through the walls. But in the same moment that this realization washed over her, something else happened. And when it happened, Kate had felt just one thing: relief. </p>
<p>The moment she’d seen the desperation in his eyes turn to cold steel, the moment his long fingers curled themselves around the grip of the gun, she had known – without a shadow of a doubt – that she was going to get out of this alive. And maybe, just maybe, they’d be able to save Abe as well.</p><hr/>
<p>She had been right. Now, two hours later, she was sitting next to Abe, who was out cold, but alive. Now that Abe’s survival was all but assured, Kate’s thoughts turned to what had happened in the hours before. To the strange man who popped up out of nowhere to join them on their mission, and whose spaceship she was currently occupying. And, inevitably, her thoughts turned to the members of her team that hadn’t made it back. </p>
<p>Tom, Ipso and Craig had all been lost on the derelict base they had been sent to investigate. Too late had they realized that the place was overrun with Vrohks. The semi-intelligent animals had had them surrounded in no time at all. With their wicked claws extended, they were the stuff of nightmares. And they had been hungry. </p>
<p>That was when the stranger appeared. At first, the man with the wild brown hair and the dark eyes had held Vrohks at bay with his strange little device. After that, they’d run for their lives, occasionally taking one of the monsters out with a well-placed shot between the eyes. It wasn’t enough. </p>
<p>One of the Vrohks managed to destroy the stranger’s device, and after that, things had quickly gone downhill. </p>
<p>Despite the dire situation, the stranger had started rifling through his pockets as they ran. He had produced all manner of strange objects, and some of those had served to distract the monsters temporarily. But none of the wondrous devices had offered a permanent solution. So they kept running, the six of them; until they were no longer six, and had come to a dead end. </p>
<p>In that end, it was just her and Abe, and the man who insisted on being called ‘Doctor’. But Abe was bleeding out, and Kate couldn’t care less about names. She was quickly running out of ammo while the stranger was kneeling next to Abe. She didn’t know what they said, exactly, but it was obvious that Abe was trying to hand his gun to the Doctor – ‘trying’ being the operative word. </p>
<p>Suddenly, the Doctor relented and took the gun. Kate saw it happen. Something changed in this stranger as he gripped the gun tighter and brought it up to aim at the nearest Vrohk. Trying to remember it now, the only analogy Kate could come up with was that of a sudden thunderstorm, which unleashed itself when you least expected it. </p>
<p>After that, things happened so quickly that Kate doubted if she’d remembered everything correctly. Within mere seconds, it had seemed, she was standing with her gun aimed at nothing, all the remaining Vrohks dead on the ground. All killed with perfect head-shots. At her side, the strange Doctor was lowering Abe’s gun, the fire in his eyes slowly fading. </p>
<p>The Doctor didn’t give Kate any time to process. He threw the gun away, picked up the now unconscious Abe, and informed her that they needed to get to his ship, before running off in the one direction now open to them. </p>
<p>It had taken Kate no more than a minute to get over the whole ‘bigger on the inside’ thing. Abe was still first priority, after all. The infirmary had turned out to be very modern and well-stocked. It still took the two of them thirty minutes to stabilize Abe’s condition, but now he was safe. </p>
<p>And now that he was indeed safe, there was room for Kate to process and start asking questions. After going over the events in her mind, one question stood out like a sore thumb: why hadn’t the Doctor acted earlier? </p>
<p>The Doctor wasn’t surprised when he saw Kate stomping into the Console Room, anger etched in every line of her face. Even so, the Doctor wasn’t looking forward to what was coming next. </p>
<p>“Why did you wait?” Kate growled. </p>
<p>The Doctor looked at her with sad, weary eyes. Kate took another step towards him. </p>
<p>“Why did you wait to kill those monsters?”</p>
<p>The Doctor remained silent and looked away. Kate was still moving towards him when she shouted: “You could have saved them. If you’d shot the Vrohks immediately, they wouldn’t be dead.”</p>
<p>The Doctor looked back at her. The sheer amount of pure self-loathing in his eyes made Kate take an involuntary step back. Anger started to mingle with the disgust in his gaze. </p>
<p>“Didn’t you see what happened back there?” the Doctor hissed. “Don’t you realize the implications at all? Are you <i>that</i> blind?”</p>
<p>Kate was struck speechless. Her mind whirled with his questions, but the answers remained elusive. </p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” she spluttered, at last. </p>
<p>The Doctor didn’t reply immediately. His face had gone blank, but his eyes were cold. After a few seconds, the Doctor sighed, instantly deflating completely. </p>
<p>“If I use killing as a first resort, then where will it stop?” he questioned, no longer looking at Kate. </p>
<p>For a moment, Kate felt sympathy for the man before her. Then she remembered her fallen friends. </p>
<p>“It stops when the people are safe,” she snarled, coming closer to the Doctor again. “And you could have made us safe a lot earlier, and without breaking a sweat.”</p>
<p>Silence reigned for a few long moments. Some of Kate’s anger drained away in that time, after she realized that shouting at this man wouldn’t bring her team back. It cleared her mind enough for another realization: the man before her had made five perfect head-shots in about five seconds. </p>
<p>It was only then that it really dawned on her how terrifying that was, and what that implied about the man before her. He might not look it at first or second glance, but he was dangerous. And he had done this before. </p>
<p>The rational part of her mind protested against her instincts. No-one could pull of that many shots in so little time, not even with a lifetime of practice. She must be remembering things wrongly, her mind playing tricks on her…</p>
<p>“How did you do it?” Kate asked, surprising both the Doctor and herself with the question. </p>
<p>The Doctor looked at her from his position near the controls with a frown. </p>
<p>“How did you manage five kills in five seconds?” Kate elaborated. </p>
<p>The Doctor tensed; then settled himself in the chair next to the console with a defeated air about him. </p>
<p>“I’m… Not human,” he started carefully. </p>
<p>When his words didn’t seem to garner an instant negative reaction, he continued: “I perceive time differently, and my reflexes are a lot better than yours. Five seconds seems like no time at all for you, but for me…” </p>
<p>He fell silent, brow furrowing. Kate, sensing that there was more to come, kept silent. </p>
<p>“The easiest way to say it is that my perception of time is faster, which effectively causes time to pass slower for me. When one minute passes, there are a limited number of things you can see, hear and do. You’re limited by the speed of your perception and your reflexes. For me, both those limits are different, which means I can accomplish a lot more in the same minute, if I want to.”</p>
<p>Kate nodded slowly as she tried to wrap her head around his explanation. </p>
<p>“Of course, I’ve also had a lot of practice,” the Doctor added with a grim look on his face. </p>
<p>Kate recognized that look. Craig had worn it on his face whenever he was reminded of the war. It was the look of a man who’d taken lives, and regretted his actions every single day. </p>
<p>Now the Doctor’s earlier tirade made more sense. This Doctor did not only regret what he had done in the past, he feared what he might still do in the future. He knew what he was capable of, and it scared him. Kate had seen and felt the power radiating from this alien for herself, and, suddenly, she realized that she was afraid of him as well. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” she whispered, then turned and fled back to the infirmary, leaving the Doctor alone with his demons.</p><hr/>
<p>The Doctor sighed. He’d seen the emotions play across Kate’s face, and could rather easily guess what she was thinking. Therefore, it didn’t come as a surprise when she fled. That didn’t mean he hadn’t hoped for a different reaction. </p>
<p>He would never admit it out loud, but he was longing for the company of a new companion. Donna was still right: he needed someone. That didn’t mean he would break his vow to never find another companion, but the longing was still there. </p>
<p>Thinking of Donna reminded him that Kate might still come around, but he quickly shoved the thought away by focusing on the Tardis controls instead. He had to get Kate and Abe back home, or at the very least, back to their ship.</p><hr/>
<p>The goodbye was short and business-like. This confused Abe to no end, since it seemed rather out of character for Kate to be so cold to the man who’d rescued them. Abe tried thanking the Doctor himself, at the same time inquiring about his gun, but Kate turned the wheelchair Abe was confined to away from the Doctor. Abe’s ensuing protests were easily overruled by Kate, who wanted nothing more than to get away from this scary alien as fast as possible. </p>
<p>The Doctor had brought them all the way to headquarters, and she appreciated it, in her own way; she just wished that the strange blue box would disappear already. There would be enough difficulties ahead, and that was without thinking about the report she’d have to file, and the many questions that particular report would raise.</p><hr/>
<p>The Doctor watched silently as the pair was greeted enthusiastically by their colleagues. He quickly squashed the jealousy that was trying to well up in his chest. Once again, he had done more than enough damage to the lives of these people. It was time for him to go. </p>
<p>As he closed the door behind him, it occurred to him that there might be one person left in the universe that he couldn’t hurt like this anymore. After all, he’d already done the worst to her, but his future was her past. And she’d still loved him at the end of it all. While he didn’t love her (yet), not that way, trying to find her would at least take his mind off of things. So he resolved to search for River Song. Maybe they could visit Asgard together.</p>
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